Do you ever...

....wake up thinking about something?
Then you think about it all day long...
Thinking about it.
Analyzing it.
Pondering about it.
Wondering about it.
Imagining what would happen if....

You think about it so much it makes you sick...
You want to stop,
But the more you want to stop, the more it consumes you.
And it just keeps going, and going, and going.....

It just won't get out of your head.

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Today is one of those days.

On my mind the second my eyes flickered open to the sound of my alarm...



I'm in complete agony.






I just want it to go away....

Almost 6 months have gone by...

And I haven't posted a blog in quite some time...

It seems like I have abandoned this blog.

It really wasn't my intention.

I'm going to try and start it up again.

A part of me wants to try and fill in the world what I've been doing with my life since last November, but viewing my past posts, I never really gave a whole lot of insight into my life.

Just some frivolous posts about my life at the time.

So much has changed since then.

While I'm still Brennan,

I'm not remotely the same person.

I've changed.

If you're wondering how I've changed,

Well, I'll fill you in.

My primary social group has shifted numerous times.

My outlook on life is different.

I've had my heart broken several times,

and it is still mending.

I've gotten closer to some people who I never thought I would...

And some friendships are fading fast....

A dark storm cloud seems to be looming over my head constantly.

Last week, I came to the realization that I'm the furthest away from God I've ever been.

And that scares me.

I'm not living my life anywhere remotely near where God wants me to be.

Church has become a social event, rather than a worship event.

Instead of being firm in what I believe in, my views are constantly changed by the people I'm around.

I'm not who I need to be. Not who I want to be. Not who God wants me to be.

I'm working on that right now.

Who is Brennan Seth Tracy?

An almost 20 year old boy.

Dark Blonde Hair. Blue eyes.

Unlucky in love.

A mess.

Crazy.

Friendly.

Dark.

The list goes on.

We change daily. We are shaped by the events in our life.

I'm different.

But different isn't always a bad thing.